I think, at some point, I really let everyone down or pissed everyone off or just have inbuilt transmitter that makes people want to cut off communication with me, without explaining why.

I rely really heavily on having a reliable support network, now I have none.
No really. When I get sad and lonely and there's no one around to talk to there's now also no one to call.

So I went with rage and frustration.
I went with severing all the emotional ties I had placed so tightly around my close friends and I let them float off on the wind.
I feel like I'm standing on the top of the only building in the city with no clothes on. I feel stripped of myself and of all that I love and I am now trying, so, so slowly to rebuild.
To not tear myself to shreds.
There are very few answers in amongst all of this confusion.
And I just long to let the flood swell.

I have learnt that I must be the man alone. Content with my own existence and wary of the intentions of others.





istillfeelsosad.
ilostmymuse.